Losing Your Temper Costs You Dearly}

Losing your temper costs you dearly

by

Charby

“Often the difference between a successful person and a failure is not one has better abilities or ideas, but the courage that one has to bet on ones ideas, to take a calculated risk – and to act. Maxwell Maltz

There’s an old german idiomatic expression which may help many of us cope with certain life situations…”too soon old…too late smart”. Forgive me. I don’t speak german but this literal translation offers the gist of the sentiment.

As you get older you realize that certain situations in life , certain of our major/minor life battles, are not really worth all the effort and fuss we attribute to them. Losing one’s temper unexplainably is one type of emotional reaction many folks employ to confront their life crises.

Sure we all lose our tempers now and then. It feels so good to vent our spleen….make our inner feelings public…..tell the world we’ve had enough of all the nonsense. This volcanic release of pent up emotions offers a short term emotional balm to a particularly trying situation.

On the other hand we lose a lot more than we gain by emotionally exploding and venting our anger on the nearest soul who unfortunately happens to be in our vicinity…an innocent bystander who just so happens to have pressed our emotional buttons the wrong way.

Consider this analogy. Imagine a large white picket fence . The fence surrounds a house. The house represents us. The fence represents the emotional safeguards we use to protect our fragile egos from hurt. Each day we subconsciously examine this house and marvel at how well the fence both shelters and decorates our house. The house is welcoming and people want to drop by and visit . An idyllic picture of happiness.

Now imagine this scenario. Each time you get angry and express your temper you drive a nail into this fence. You didn’t meant to do this. You got caught up in a situation and blew your top. It happens. You now notice that each time you emotionally explode more nails are driven into the fence.

The nails are the emotional scars and resentments your outbursts have created.You don’t mean to lose cotrol but you did. The fence with all the shiny nails in it now detracts from the beauty of the house. The nails in the fence detract from the appealling nature of the site. No one wants to go near this place. Its welcoming atmosphere has been compromised.

So you finally decide to control your temper. Each time you do this imagine removing one nail from the fence. After a while the nails are gone and you feel better that you finally got a grip on your volatile emotions. You tell yourself your friends and associates will understand you. Forgive you. Want to visit you again. Afterall you did manage to control your outbursts.

But consider the fence again. The nails are gone but the holes (the emotional damage) is permanent. Simply removing the nail does not mitigate the situation. The holes in the fence announces to the world that caution must be used when going near this place. Now you’re on your best behavior and folks walk on egg shells when you are around.

There are ways to control your emotional outbursts. Punch a pillow. Go into a quiet room and scream. Count to 10. Go to another room and cool down.

A number of creative options are offered at http://www.positivityblog.com/ which may offer you ways to change your behavior.

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